Growing up in a small town where the majority of people are farmers and kids follow in the family footsteps, I knew I would not want to stick around. Now, I am out in the “wild” living in the city and have traveled the world with the Marine Corps.
I go back to what I call home but only out of necessity. I realize as I drive through the towns that made up the school district a lot has changed. However, it seems as though everything has stayed completely the same.
I drive past the old gas station and the name on the sign has changed, but when I go inside the same owner is there. He told me it was simply time for a change.
According to Shawn Hubler in his essay “Will the Last Gay Bar in Laguna Beach Please Turn Out the Lights?”, “The scene, like the town’s art galleries and surf shops, was part of the area’s character and history.”
This is how the small grocery stores, long since run out of business by a neighboring city’s Cub Foods or Rainbow grocery store, made the town what it was. The townspeople did not mind the groceries were a little higher priced. They enjoyed the convenience of driving down Main Street for that gallon of milk, instead of driving 20 minutes.
Now what is left of the town’s stores? The American Legion, the local bar, a chiropractor, newspaper and the bank are what comprise the town’s businesses.
Of course the gas stations stick around, but their name changes as frequently as the owner of the newspaper in town.
Some of this could be explained by the economy, but of course other things have to change as well.
Hubler cites other reasons for change in Laguna Beach in his essay. “On the other hand, much of the change is being driven by the inexorable forces.”
As far as the people go, they are still the same. The same teachers, same coaches and the same drama that comes with family names is still an everyday part of life.
I get to keep up on the gossip from one person I still talk to, and she has been my best friend since fifth grade. We even had an apartment together.
She informs me of the marriages and who’s cheating whom, the most important of things.
What she is especially fond of is how families are combining, almost incestuously, to form a better “name for them.”
The star running back I graduated from high school with took over the family farm implement shop and married the star basketball player. Now their family is nearly unstoppable when it comes to sports in that town. The only thing left for them to do is make sure the coaches are part of their circle of friends.
I have to say, I am glad I was able to get out while I could. I could not imagine what life would be like if I had stayed in that town. Since I was not the star player in any sport I would have had to marry a mediocre female athlete and hope our children had a chance of being on the team. Not to mention, since I was an outsider who moved in at 5th grade, could you imagine what life would have been like for a Yard child? I shudder at the thought.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
My Big Nose; All the Better to Smell With
I have been asked if I am a Jew countless times, by some people I have just met and by those who have known me for years. And it never surprises me when they ask because of my big nose.
My nose has been what I feel is the dominant feature of my face since the age of eleven. Classmates and friends have always teased me for the size of my nose. It seems like everybody noticed my nose, which as an adolescent, was nearly as big as the noses found on Mount Rushmore.
I can remember riding a bus in Atlanta when a friend accused me of having my hand on my face in an attempt to hide it. I could never hide this three-story apartment building on my face. My hands are big, but not that big.
Going through junior high and senior high school was some of the toughest times. Nobody is nice in high school. But I figured out if I made fun of myself first that I could stop the barrage of insults before they started.
A classmate would start to say something along the lines of, “Your nose…” and I would immediately quip, “Is probably the biggest you’ve ever seen. And just think, the nose and ears continue to grow until you die. How big do you think it will be when I’m fifty?”
Or, I would hit them with the classic line, “All the better to smell with,” as heard in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. So my nose became the butt of jokes for me, too.
“My old nose was my shtick, a song and dance I did for years. I wanted to drop it all and lead, for once. I wanted to be so out in front of things that I became invisible,” said Dan Barden in his essay, My New Nose.
Just as Barden’s nose was his shtick, I used it the same way. I had a friend from the Marine Corps ask me if I was Jewish. I blasted him with the lines, “Why? Because of this big shylock nose? Because I’m tight with my money? My dad owns a bank? Why would I have to be Jewish?” I played these stereotypes against him and he got scared as though he offended me. When I finally laughed he let out a sigh of breath he must have been holding for nearly a minute.
I like to keep people of balance when they attack what I find to be my most distracting feature. I know it is big – thanks for the reminder.
However, I have never thought of “fixing” it. It has been broken plenty of times from sparring with other Marines, or the occasional boxing match in the living room with friends. Barden had his nose fixed and it opened new doors for him.
“Psychologically, my nose had become the emblem for all that held me back, and I had had to deal with it. Some people will tell you that’s an inside job…But I believe rhinoplasty can also be a kind of spiritual growth.”
For me, I have learned to deal with it. I wear glasses when possible, but I have not decided if that attracts or detracts attention from the mountain of flesh on my face. To have rhinoplasty done would be like picking a tattoo from flash art in the shop. “Hmm, I like that one, but could you slim it up in the bridge?”
Nope, I have no idea how I would like my nose to be shaped, except exactly the way it is. So, when friends start picking on my nose, I let them. I know they are all green with envy because this olfactory sensory system is huge. I can smell who’s grilling in the neighborhood and what kind of barbecue sauce they have on their pork chops. Oh, and by the way, I was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran.
My nose has been what I feel is the dominant feature of my face since the age of eleven. Classmates and friends have always teased me for the size of my nose. It seems like everybody noticed my nose, which as an adolescent, was nearly as big as the noses found on Mount Rushmore.
I can remember riding a bus in Atlanta when a friend accused me of having my hand on my face in an attempt to hide it. I could never hide this three-story apartment building on my face. My hands are big, but not that big.
Going through junior high and senior high school was some of the toughest times. Nobody is nice in high school. But I figured out if I made fun of myself first that I could stop the barrage of insults before they started.
A classmate would start to say something along the lines of, “Your nose…” and I would immediately quip, “Is probably the biggest you’ve ever seen. And just think, the nose and ears continue to grow until you die. How big do you think it will be when I’m fifty?”
Or, I would hit them with the classic line, “All the better to smell with,” as heard in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. So my nose became the butt of jokes for me, too.
“My old nose was my shtick, a song and dance I did for years. I wanted to drop it all and lead, for once. I wanted to be so out in front of things that I became invisible,” said Dan Barden in his essay, My New Nose.
Just as Barden’s nose was his shtick, I used it the same way. I had a friend from the Marine Corps ask me if I was Jewish. I blasted him with the lines, “Why? Because of this big shylock nose? Because I’m tight with my money? My dad owns a bank? Why would I have to be Jewish?” I played these stereotypes against him and he got scared as though he offended me. When I finally laughed he let out a sigh of breath he must have been holding for nearly a minute.
I like to keep people of balance when they attack what I find to be my most distracting feature. I know it is big – thanks for the reminder.
However, I have never thought of “fixing” it. It has been broken plenty of times from sparring with other Marines, or the occasional boxing match in the living room with friends. Barden had his nose fixed and it opened new doors for him.
“Psychologically, my nose had become the emblem for all that held me back, and I had had to deal with it. Some people will tell you that’s an inside job…But I believe rhinoplasty can also be a kind of spiritual growth.”
For me, I have learned to deal with it. I wear glasses when possible, but I have not decided if that attracts or detracts attention from the mountain of flesh on my face. To have rhinoplasty done would be like picking a tattoo from flash art in the shop. “Hmm, I like that one, but could you slim it up in the bridge?”
Nope, I have no idea how I would like my nose to be shaped, except exactly the way it is. So, when friends start picking on my nose, I let them. I know they are all green with envy because this olfactory sensory system is huge. I can smell who’s grilling in the neighborhood and what kind of barbecue sauce they have on their pork chops. Oh, and by the way, I was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The beach was totally worth it
I was debating on going to the beach today. I made it out there after the gym. And it was not a disappointment that's for sure. It was beautiful out there. Also, the pictures aren't half bad considering I took them with my G1.
Jacksonville NC, I loathe you
So, I've been down here a week. It has been a very lame, long week. I can't believe how much I don't miss any of this crap down here. The traffic is always so terrible, and fixing the streets is nearly impossible because of so much traffic.
One thing about the traffic that has not changed is how people sit at stop lights. When I learned how to drive I was told to move into the intersection while waiting to turn left on a green light. Most of the people here sit right at white line that signifies where to stop when the light is red. Obviously this makes a left turn a whole lot longer than it would if you were already in the intersection and only have to cross the lanes of oncoming traffic. Unfortunately, not a lot of people know this. So they just sit there patiently waiting for next green arrow. How lame...
The other thing that bothers me about being out here is you can't just go to a shop to have your oil changed. I walk into Jiffy Lube and they say I could make an appointment. I didn't realize Jiffy Lube is in the appointment business. Oh well, I just get to do it myself.
The other thing I knew but didn't take into account was paydays. I went to Wal-Mart for granola. That's it. Granola. I stood in line for nearly 20 minutes just to use the self-checkout, express lane. Outrageous, friends. It was amazing to see how many people were in line at the express lane with a cart full of groceries. I had granola and Powerade. I had two items and was forced to watch people attempt to use the express lane for upwards of 90 items.
This is just some of the things that make me angry about being in Jacksonville, NC. I guess I shouldn't be so grumpy about it. It isn't the town's fault. Literally, the town was here and Camp Lejeune unleashed hell on the town. And now there's just so many Marines living here there's barely the infrastructure needed to support the amount of people.
One thing about the traffic that has not changed is how people sit at stop lights. When I learned how to drive I was told to move into the intersection while waiting to turn left on a green light. Most of the people here sit right at white line that signifies where to stop when the light is red. Obviously this makes a left turn a whole lot longer than it would if you were already in the intersection and only have to cross the lanes of oncoming traffic. Unfortunately, not a lot of people know this. So they just sit there patiently waiting for next green arrow. How lame...
The other thing that bothers me about being out here is you can't just go to a shop to have your oil changed. I walk into Jiffy Lube and they say I could make an appointment. I didn't realize Jiffy Lube is in the appointment business. Oh well, I just get to do it myself.
The other thing I knew but didn't take into account was paydays. I went to Wal-Mart for granola. That's it. Granola. I stood in line for nearly 20 minutes just to use the self-checkout, express lane. Outrageous, friends. It was amazing to see how many people were in line at the express lane with a cart full of groceries. I had granola and Powerade. I had two items and was forced to watch people attempt to use the express lane for upwards of 90 items.
This is just some of the things that make me angry about being in Jacksonville, NC. I guess I shouldn't be so grumpy about it. It isn't the town's fault. Literally, the town was here and Camp Lejeune unleashed hell on the town. And now there's just so many Marines living here there's barely the infrastructure needed to support the amount of people.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Out of the Suitcase
Well, I'm finally out of the suitcase and into a hotel room. I was sleeping at a friends place for the weekend. I was on the couch and in a house full of people. We were at maximum capacity. It feels good to finally be out of there and into a room where I can get comfortable.
The good news is I was able to mostly unpack. I'm still holding out for a beach house to open up so I can stay out by the beach. If that doesn't happen I won't be terribly disappointed. It would be cool if I got to stay out there, but a trip should suffice.
The bad news is I packed one green t-shirt that fits. I packed two smalls, one medium and one extra large. I would be happy if they were all larges, but whatever. I can't believe I have small t-shirts, and I can only imagine they were from my time in Iraq.
I guess I just get to buy a couple more green t-shirts. Even though I have a pile of 35 at my house.
I'm about to venture out to the mall because I should get a decent haircut and some Tony's Pizza. Probably some of the best pizza ever. Seriously...
Out here
The good news is I was able to mostly unpack. I'm still holding out for a beach house to open up so I can stay out by the beach. If that doesn't happen I won't be terribly disappointed. It would be cool if I got to stay out there, but a trip should suffice.
The bad news is I packed one green t-shirt that fits. I packed two smalls, one medium and one extra large. I would be happy if they were all larges, but whatever. I can't believe I have small t-shirts, and I can only imagine they were from my time in Iraq.
I guess I just get to buy a couple more green t-shirts. Even though I have a pile of 35 at my house.
I'm about to venture out to the mall because I should get a decent haircut and some Tony's Pizza. Probably some of the best pizza ever. Seriously...
Out here
Sunday, December 13, 2009
NC barely
Well, I made it to NC. I left in the middle of a blizzard. There was 10 inches of snow on the ground for the entire drive across WI. It was pretty unnerving. I followed semi-trucks. That helped. They cleared a little path for my tires. It was definitely rough going. I stopped for gas and the attendant warned they were closing I-94. That wasn't a good thing to hear. I needed as much time as possible on the road. Just in case the weather was bad the whole way down here. I made it to I-39 south, in no less than eight hours. It was pretty damn terrible. I wasn't happy at all.
I got up after sleeping for two hours and started back on the trek. I was only on the road for about an hour before I managed to slide the truck sideways. I was going from the left lane, across an overpass and onto the on-ramp as I tried to regain control. Not really fun at all. The wind was blowing harder than I've felt. I was getting pushed all over the road.
As soon as I made it to the east side of Indianapolis the weather was perfect. Well, better than before.
I made it to OH, for a little sleep, but only got another 2.5 hours after I ate dinner and visited with the family. It was good to see them, especially right before the holidays. I should get to see them on my way home, too. Hopefully, this time I'll get to see Jesus in the lake. If you haven't seen it, you should really do yourself a favor and google it! It is awesome!
So far, it has been uneventful here in J-Actionville. It still sucks that's for sure. I went to the bar Friday night with friends and forgot how crappy everything is. The service is terrible and everybody thinks they're the king. Testosterone-charged drunk Marines is bad. I am amazed at how so many people can think they're so awesome in a room filled with peers. Oh well. I don't have that much longer to deal with them. It's only two weeks, and I'm home for Christmas.
I got up after sleeping for two hours and started back on the trek. I was only on the road for about an hour before I managed to slide the truck sideways. I was going from the left lane, across an overpass and onto the on-ramp as I tried to regain control. Not really fun at all. The wind was blowing harder than I've felt. I was getting pushed all over the road.
As soon as I made it to the east side of Indianapolis the weather was perfect. Well, better than before.
I made it to OH, for a little sleep, but only got another 2.5 hours after I ate dinner and visited with the family. It was good to see them, especially right before the holidays. I should get to see them on my way home, too. Hopefully, this time I'll get to see Jesus in the lake. If you haven't seen it, you should really do yourself a favor and google it! It is awesome!
So far, it has been uneventful here in J-Actionville. It still sucks that's for sure. I went to the bar Friday night with friends and forgot how crappy everything is. The service is terrible and everybody thinks they're the king. Testosterone-charged drunk Marines is bad. I am amazed at how so many people can think they're so awesome in a room filled with peers. Oh well. I don't have that much longer to deal with them. It's only two weeks, and I'm home for Christmas.
Friday, December 4, 2009
the first day at hyland...
well it's that time of year and hyland hills is opening again. today is the first shift. it will probably be a long four months. at least there is some free snowboarding, and skiing, to look forward to. i will miss that if i ever quit working there. i cant believe how many employees don't take advantage of that. anyways, i'm off to hyland. hope it's a good start to the season.
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